Heart Your Hairdresser…

Today I’ve been to the hairdressers.

So what right?

To anyone else that’s a totally unremarkable statement, but to us ladies, the fabulous hair having kind, we know the state of nervous excitement an appointment with this important person can cause.

I haven’t gone for a dramatic new cut or colour, in fact I’ve gone for the same style and hue as usual, but I still get that buzz of anticipation when I put my treasured tresses is someone else’s hands. This is why the value of a good hair stylist can never be underestimated. In our lives plenty will come and go but eventually, if you haven’t already, you’ll find ‘The One.’

Sound familiar? While I was sat in ‘The Chair’ I reflected on the relationship we have with these hair-carers. It is based on trust and mutual understanding, which is kinda like the relationship we have with boyfriends. I think I’ve found the one. Hairdresser that is, not boyfriend. Ewww, please I’m only, like, twenty-five.

As the old adage goes, you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince and similarly you have to let a few crazy chop-a-lots loose on your locks before you find the stylist right for you. It’s all about learning from your mistakes and trust me when I say I’ve had some dodgy ex-hairdressers in my time.

Like, how about the one who barcoded the back of my head with blonde streaks (c’mon I was a teen) only to ignore her error because hey, I couldn’t see the back of my head anyway!  Or the one who moonlighted as a daylight robber on the side by charging me a fortune for a cut I didn’t even want? Ex’s for a reason ladies.

But rising gloriously from the ashes of these bad experiences like a beacon of hope for hair is my current stylist Leanne. Leanne has been tending to my tresses for about 9 years now and I swear I’ve never looked at another hairdresser since. Even while at university I’d travel home on weekends so my hair could be looked after by none other than Leanne. Long distance can totally work. Having anyone else touch my hair would have been tantamount to cheating. I tried to explain this to a friend who suggested I find somewhere new to get my hair done like everyone else who’d moved away to uni. Say what? Mad cow.

You see Leanne just gets my ‘long hair don’t care’ attitude and understands the simple concept of a trim (you’d be surprised by how many hairdressers don’t.) She knows what I want before I ask for it and knows what not to suggest (i.e. a cut bigger than a trim.) She’s stood by me through some tough times like having the beloved black stripped from my hair, my hard to maintain ‘red’ phase and my latest dip dye dilemma and never judged. Honestly I feel our friendship is all the stronger for it.

When it comes to hairdressers you know you’ve found ‘The One’ when you find yourself anxiously making a contingency plan for the day they won’t be able to cut your hair. What if I move away? What if Leanne moves away? Has a career change? What if I’m forced to have my hair cut on a Tuesday (her day off?) What if I need my locks colouring while she’s off getting married in Ibiza this May? What if after getting married she has kids, stays in Ibiza and never comes back to the salon? What if a zombie apocalypse happens? What if an ACTUAL apocalypse happens? WHAT WOULD I DO THEN???

Sorry, wound myself into a total bitch fit there. Note to self: back up plan required.

A successful trip to the salon can make the world of difference to a girl’s state of mind and overall happiness. After all, look good feel great right? But the person responsible for these miracle mood boosters gets a bit of a rough deal. A good hairdresser slaves away over your barnet for hours on end for a parting “Thanks, I love it!” while you reap all the rewards of their hard work. So credit where it’s due and in celebration of our upcoming 10 year anniversary, Leanne Bradley, snaps to ya babe, snaps to ya! 

For all those yet to find ‘The One’ don’t throw up your hands and buy a home hair dye kit just yet, stick with it. Your Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms Perfect Stylist is out there somewhere. You have to suffer the bad and incompetent to get to the great and the good. The positive advice I can give is trust your instincts and never settle for less than you deserve. When choosing this relationship you definitely want to follow your head. 

Jemm xoxo

P.S. If you found this post by Googling ‘Finding The One,’ yeah, you’re totally in the wrong place. Unless of course you’re looking for a new hairdresser.  

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas…

It’s only blooming Christmas Eve! This festive season seems to have come around mighty fast this year, where does the time go?

I just wanted to pop up a quick post to wish all the readers of Jemm Frances Says So a very ‘Merry Christmas.’ I hope tomorrow brings you magic and happiness whatever you do and wherever you spend it. May you indulge in some festive fun and make jolly with those that you love the most. 

Santa is most certainly on his way (I know as I’ve spent the majority of the day tracking his progress around the world thanks to NORAD) so I hope you’ve all been nice this year. 

I shall be spending Christmas and Boxing Day with my nearest and dearest, probably eating too many biscuits and definitely watching the Christmas Downton. 

So may all our Christmases be merry, bright and twinkly!

Jemm xoxo

Christmas Wish List 2013

With tomorrow being the 1st of December everyone will be able to officially and sensibly talk about Christmas. Finally. Any seasonal talk that has passed before I therefore deem unofficial and nonsensical, y’all know who you are. Those of you that have been chatting about gifts, movies and decorations since Halloween, yes I’m talking to you. Consider yourselves festively chastised. But on a jollier note tomorrow is the day from which you can buy your gifts, watch your movies and decorate your Christmas tree to your hearts content.

Say it loud and say it proud: IT’S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAS! Or there abouts.

So what better time for a Wish List post?

This year I won’t be asking Santa to slip a sable (what the hell is a sable? When I was young I mistook it for stable & used to wonder how he would get an actual stable with horses down the chimney and under the tree? Anyway, lets get back on point,) a yacht or a diamond ring under the tree, although if you’re feeling generous I won’t argue against the last one. What with money being a bit of an issue and my attempt to curb my spending on unnecessary things, this years list is comprised of silly little bits and bobs that I’ve been after for a while. Nothing terribly exciting I’m afraid. But I made a list anyway. Never let it be said that I don’t respect tradition.

1. Diesel Loverdose Tattoo Perfume 2. Topshop translucent pressed powder 3. Urban Decay Naked 3 4. Subscription to Company Mag

1. Before I Go To Sleep 2. How To Fall In Love 3. Some Kind of Fairy Tale

1. Debenhams Gift Card (beauty) 2. MAC Cosmetics 3. Subscription to Cosmopolitan Mag.

1. Nails Inc Fibre Optic Effect 2. Topshop Gift Card 3. Downton Series 4

One present I know I’ll be receiving is a trip to Edinburgh next weekend. I’ve never been to bonny Scotland before so I’m well and truly in the Christmas spirit for that. 

And if we’re going to make this wish list a true wish list (the never in a million years kind) lets throw a London townhouse into the mix, as far as they go this ones not too shabby.

Those are my Yuletide wishes along with world peace, global prosperity and chocolate biscuits, etc, etc, etc. What has made it onto your Christmas lists? I’d love to know what you’re expecting wrapped up all pretty under the tree so comment, tweet or Facebook your wishes to me. 

Jemm xoxo

P.s Don’t forget those advent calendars tomorrow & no cheating, only open the windows a day a time! 

Blogs I Love…#2

This time last November (or there a bouts) I posted about the blogs I love. Twelve months on, I think its time to compile an updated list. A blogs I love #2.

To see the bunch of brilliant blogs I (still) heart, such as Pixiwoo, WishWishWish & Couture Girl, click here.

These chilly evenings spent in the house with a DVD and your laptop can seem a little boring if you’ve got nothing new to entertain you. If, like me, you get sick of looking at the same sites over and again there is nothing better than making a new blog discovery. Something different and fresh to feast your eyes on and while away the hours with. Blogs that are creative, up to date and enjoyable with a lovely friendly blogger making it all happen.

Well, fear not. No matter what your cup of tea, be it beauty, fashion or lifestyle you’re bound to find a blog you love amongst my little lists. Just don’t blame me come Sunday evening when you realise you’ve frittered away an entire weekend clicking around the blogosphere.  Happy reading.

GRGCTTS

Yorkshire beauty blogger Georgia Cutts is back on the blogging scene after a small hiatus. GRGCTTS (now it’s own domain) has a new look and lots of exciting things in the offing. From this self taught makeup artist and MAC girl you can expect loads of looks you’ll want to recreate, and the blog will provide all the know-how in the form of product reviews, tutorials, YouTube videos, lifestyle posts and Instagram pics that will make you green with envy at what this girl can do with an eyeliner brush and brow pencil.  

LoveHanan

Twenty six year old Hanan provides you with a little bit of everything over on LoveHanan.com. Lifestyle posts detailing her time spent out and about at events, from food to music Hanan takes you along for the ride with her own pictures too. Her beauty and fashion posts contain reviews, how-to’s, discussions and advice. What I really love about this blog is that the home page makes your reading experience easy and enjoyable. Each section of the blog is separated into its own part. Don’t feel like reading a beauty post? No problem! Just avoid clicking the beauty button. Feeling like something more life based? Click lifestyle instead! I look forward to reading more from Hanan in the future.

InTheFrow

I love clicking on to InTheFrow.com, a girly, friendly, pretty corner of the net. Manchester based blogger Victoria certainly knows her stuff being a fashion doctorate graduate, she runs this lovely blog in her spare time. Predominantly fashion and beauty you will find reviews and tutorials on cosmetics, hair, nails and skin care as well as outfit and how to wear posts. But that isn’t all there is to discover on InTheFrow. Carry on clicking to find life posts, videos, travel and event diaries and wish lists. Brilliant for inspiration and ideas.

Cosmetic Crave

Welcome to Cosmetic Crave, a beauty blog (hence the name) run by Hannah. Hannah has created the only place to go if you’re looking to have a beauty binge. If it’s a new product you need look no further for ideas than Cosmetic Crave. Hair and nails are a fave on this blog along with product testing, new finds, tips and tricks, haul posts, bargain buys and guest blogging. Hannah is lovely to chat to so if you have a question send her a tweet!

Gh0stParties

Gh0stParties is a charming blog with beautiful photography brought to life by Kate. A pleasant place to visit I love this blog for its wide variety of post topics. The life section contains picture posts, life updates, tips and advice on blogging to photography to being more organised (another list lover like myself!) Click the ‘Inspiration’ tab for room tours and home interiors, head over to ‘Food’ for mouth-watering pictures, restaurant reviews and food diaries. The ‘Beauty’ and ‘Style’ tabs house reviews, lookbooks, hauls, outfit posts, affordable alternatives (which I love,) sneak peeks into events and how-to’s. The posts are endless and the blog is wonderful. If you’re not familiar with it already, it’s a must click.

So there you go, an updated look at the blogs I love. These are just some of the blogs I have saved to my reading list and visit on a regular basis. I believe there is nothing better of an evening than sitting and catching up on all the latest posts. When there is nothing on the telly and you feel like taking a break from Twitter I hope this post has helped direct you to some of the prettiest, friendliest, most entertaining and informative blogs in the blogosphere.

All the links will be added to my blogroll (right hand side of the page) so will be available for clicking whenever you fancy. Don’t forget to check out these bloggers on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, BlogLovin, Tumblr, Instagram etc etc, (phew!) for hours more entertainment! You’ll find those links on their respective blogs.

Ciao for now bella’s.

Jemm 

xoxo

P.s I hope you like the new header, felt like going for a more simplistic look for the time being. 

Money Matters…

There I was the other day casually minding my own business, when the issue of money, or the lack thereof, had to get all up in my face.

Sat watching the X Factor with the happy anticipation of Downton being mere minutes away I decided to log on to internet banking to check if ASOS had credited my account from a return.The £30 was there but it was going to take more than the price of a returned dress to rescue those balance figures.

I subsequently spent the next hour (while watching Downton) fretting over my finances and coming to the awkward and uncomfortable realisation that if this was the 1920’s I would no longer be a Lady a la Mary as I’d hoped, but would in fact be more of a Kitchen Maid, a la Ivy.

Now if this sounds as though the state of my bank balance came as somewhat of a surprise that’s because it really did. This was the first time I’d logged on and checked my balance in months. Although it shames me to admit it, when it comes to money and finances I’m not very grown up. Probably because I know as much about figures as I do about quantum physics (translate that as diddily squat.)

I know this shouldn’t act as an excuse but I knew the lack of a regular income and my insatiable penchant for nice things wasn’t exactly going to paint me a pretty picture in pound signs when it came to looking at my account, so I did the only mature and sensible thing I knew how to do, and avoided the issue completely.

Child Jemma 1 – Adult Jemma 0.

When grown up Jemma finally took control of the situation by surveying the savings it would have been easy to start shouting about how a man in a mask and stripped jumper had obviously been pinching the pennies from my account but in all honesty the only thief of my cash was all my unnecessary spending.

Trying to save when it’s never been easier to spend is hard. As if shopping on the high street wasn’t accessible enough, online shopping makes saving nigh on impossible.

All the things you need and want now live but a click away on your laptop, phone or tablet. Topshop tops, ASOS dresses, Amazon entertainments, toiletries from Boots, Cosmetics, tracks off iTunes, proceed to checkout, pay on your card and you don’t even notice the money leaving your account. This is invisible spending.

Finally being aware of my (depleted) bank balance I refuse to be a victim of invisible spending any longer. Paying on your card either in store or online is a killer. The money sneaks out of your account and because no physical cash has actually changed hands you feel like you haven’t spent a thing.

Here’s what I’m going to do:

1. Avoid online shopping sites that tempt you to spend money as if they’re the Black Death. Because basically to my money, they are the Black Death. Bye Bye, Topshop, ASOS and Amazon.
2. Keep a spending diary. Here I will write down every last penny that I spend and what I’ve spent it on so I can look at it, feel guilty, and resolve to spend less the following week.
3. Budget. Set aside a fixed amount that I have to spend each week and bloody well stick to it.
4. With every purchase ask myself “Do I need this or just want it? Pretty much guilt trip myself into saying no.

 Hopefully these simple measures will give my balance (and mood) a boost and provide the funds needed for the more necessary purchases such as books and quality cosmetics.

Because no matter how down and out and piss poor a girl might be she still needs a good book and killer eyebrows 😉

Jemm xoxo

A Series of Obsessions…

The latest issue of Company Magazine has only just fallen through my letterbox and already I’ve read it cover to cover but one particular feature caught my attention. The headline asked ‘Have you got OSD?’

No, before your imaginations run away with you, OSD does not refer to a nasty condition nor it is an abbreviated euphemism, it does in fact refer to Obsessive Series Disorder.

OSD is pretty self explanatory, it happens when you love a TV series so much you watch it religiously and then when it’s done you buy the box set and watch it all over again. And again. No matter the series its something we all have to fess up to experiencing at some point. We’ve all been there, where you know the characters better than you know family members and you know the storylines so well you’re convinced they happened to you.

I’m not a big telly watcher and all the series that people seem to be loving I’ve usually never bloody heard of but OSD has definitely happened to me a few times.

As proof I tweeted this last week: Get far too excited when I see the #Downton advert.

Oh yes, it’s that time of year again. Glorious autumn. New Downton Abbey time. Four years on from the very first episode and I’m nothing short of obsessed with this show.  Even while on holiday last year in Tenerife I refused to miss an episode, if that’s not dedication I don’t know what is. Surely its only a matter of days before the Abbey throws open its doors and welcomes us back into the lives and loves of its inhabitants. In roughly 8 weeks time you’ll be able to find me ordering the box set and mourning the ending of another series…

…and counting down the days to the Christmas episode.

The story of my OSD doesn’t start with the upstairs aristocracy and their downstairs servants, instead it starts ten years ago over in One Tree Hill and at the age of 14 I was ripe for the picking. Nine box sets later I regularly start at season one and work my way through every school year, basketball game, relationship, fight and quote even though I’ve seen them all a hundred times before. Find out what else I blame OTH for here.

The next series to bring out my OSD tendency was Lost. I mean who wouldn’t want to be stranded on a desert island with Dr Jack and Swayer? Trying to figure out how it was all going to end boggled the mind but there I was at 4 o’clock in the morning  watching the final episode which went out on American time. Like hell was I going to Sky+ it and find out how it ended after everyone else! Which reminds me, I need to finish watching all the DVDs for ooooo, the seventh time? 

So far the last television series to really deserve my Obsessive Series Disorder is Criminal Minds. Never really one for American Crime shows this one just has something special. Google Matthew Gray Gubler and Shemar Moore if you don’t believe me. Thanks to this show I also harbour a secret wish to become a criminal profiler with the FBI. Well, you know, if this whole writing thing doesn’t work out. 

So there you have it. In answer to Company Magazines question I provide a resounding yes. These are series that caused my OSD.

Now that the nights are drawing in and there is soon to be a chill in the air what better time to go box set bonkers with a series you love? Curled up on the sofa with the fire on watching the shows you just cant get enough of. Sounds like a good autumn/winter pass time to me. 

What TV shows cause you to get all OSD? Girls, True Blood, Revenge? Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, Homeland? Downton, One Tree Hill, Lost? Let me know! Comment or tweet me to tell my why you love these shows and perhaps recommend a new series for me to get obsessed with, after all its going to be a long winter with nothing new to watch!

Right, I must dash, I’m making my way through Downton series three…

Jemm xoxo

Moving On & Making Friends

It’s a fact universally acknowledged that as you grow up you grow out of certain things (thank god) old clothes, old habits, old obsessions. The ‘old’ is gradually swapped, replaced and updated with the ‘new’ until eventually you are the grown-up you’re meant to be. The transition is easy and seamless. It’s completely normal to outgrow habits, hobbies and life phases and as we do so no one appears to blink an eye.

However the touchy topic of outgrowing your friends is another matter entirely. Surely you’re supposed to do all of your ‘outgrowing’ as a child right?

I wouldn’t be so sure…

If you reside somewhere within the 20-something age bracket it usually means that you’re no longer at school/uni and that perhaps you live away from home. And as sometimes happens you look back on the friendships you made in these places and realize that they just don’t fit like they used to. Friends that were once BFFs have made different decisions and taken different paths and all of a sudden you don’t recognize each other anymore. Trouble is nobody knows quite what to do with this outgrowing and advice on how to handle it is thin on the ground.

If you don’t fit in with your work mates or you suffer a relationship break up you’ll have tips on how to deal with these situations coming out your ears, but when it comes to friendships and the quiet gradual parting of ways there isn’t a scrap of help to be had.

As an adult I’ve experienced the outgrowing of some old friendships, there were no blazing rows or bitter tears just a gentle fizzling out of what we once were. Just like you outgrew those posters on your wall, those blonde ‘highlights’ in your hair and your obsession for only ever wearing blue clothes (oh wait, that was just me?!) feeling the need to move on from certain friendships is completely normal. Yes thats right, normal. Since no one else was saying it I thought I would. So let out that sigh of relief and stop feeling guilty for letting some friendships fall by the wayside. Some mates are meant to go the distance and others are just meant to take you part of the way.

However if like me you’re not as confident as you could be and your personality tends towards that of an introvert shedding friends can be an unsettling business, especially if your friendship circle was never that big in the first place.

Which leads me onto the next friendship minefield that is never really covered, how do you make new friends as adults? Why is it so difficult to do as grown-ups?

Acquiring new friendlings as a kid was a piece of cake. They’d be sat next to you in class or would be stood next to you on the playground making daisy chains and three things would ensure you were instant and lifelong partners in crime:

1. You liked the same colour.

2. You liked the same food. And

3. You liked the same Spice Girl…

No other requirements necessary. Ahh the simple days.

But meeting new people and cultivating new friendships as adults is a whole lot of awks. How have we got so bad at it in the intervening years?

Maybe it has something to do with our needs changing. It’s no longer enough to have matching pencil cases and the same likes and dislikes. As grown-up’s factors such as loyalty, trust and reliability come along to make the process that much more complicated. The situation of meeting a potential friend and realizing you’ll have to start from scratch can look like climbing a mountain.

It’s far easier, safer and less effort to stick to the friends you’ve got. No wonder meeting potential new mates is difficult, you’re closed off and guarded, they’re closed off and guarded and instead of making a start at getting to know each other your polite smiling and small talking until you can get the hell out of there.

Lately when it’s come to meeting new people, friends of my sisters and friends of friends, I’ve been a little more open, a little less guarded and a lot more willing to chat and have found myself tentatively making new (potential) friends.

It’s still awkward as all hell but once you’ve opened up and got the ball rolling it’s actually a nice feeling. Give it a try.

So c’mon! If your favourite colour is pink, if your favourite food is dessert and if your favourite Spice was Baby lets be friends!

*Group hug*

Jemm xoxo

Instagram Diary & A Quick Note…

Hi guys!

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Lately the time seems to have run away from me and whenever I’ve sat down to write a post I’ve either hit a literary wall (literary, not literal, ouch!) or I have been distracted by something else. I know, bad blogger. But I am happy to report that I’m working on a post that should be up at some point during the week. 

Also, this Instagram Diary contains pics from the last two weeks as I tried to post up last Sunday but for some reason my WordPress account was acting all kinds of hell crazy and barred me from posting on my own blog. Rude. 

Anyway, enjoy and keep your eye on the fresh post popping up on here soon. 

1. MAC Candy Yum Yum. Have been coveting this for WEEKS and had to order online in the end. £14. 

2. Had my hair did. If only it would look like that without me having to do anything.

3. New Ralph Lauren specs. It’s scandalous that it costs an absolute fortune to not be blind.

4. Longest plate ever. Surely you get shorter runways.

5. So I figure it’s like this: there are 365 days in a year and in this country only about 9 of them will be sunny so you have to eat the McFlurries while you can.

6. Since the glasses cost a small fortune I better wear this pair.

7. Stop the press! A latte that wasn’t from Costa that I actually enjoyed. Shock face :-O 

8. In my opinion stupidly expensive for a lipstick but it had to be done at least once. Estee Lauder Crystal Honey.

9. New Jumper. Wallis.

10. Bunnies! Sunny day at Clumber Park.

11. Hoop earrings. River Island. I checked that I didn’t look like Tina McIntyre or a big fat gypsy bride before purchasing. 

12. Phone’s new outfit.

13. Oh hi pink lips! 

14. I have discovered the Illamasqua counter in Meadowhall. God help us all, but mostly me. 

15. Bright leopard print nails. Combination of Topshop, Illamasqua, Essie & Models Own polishes. 

Follow/Find me on Instagram @ JemmFrances

Have a happy week.

Jemm xoxo

(Un)Necessary Ways I Waste Money

 

Not to be materialistic but we all like things. Things are good. Things make you happy. Some things are necessary, other things less so. And when you don’t have a lot of money all things are so bloody expensive.

As it has been pointed out to me I fall in to the: ‘You Don’t Have The Money To Fritter Away On Unnecessary Things’ category, but the trouble is everything that I think is absolutely essential to my survival can actually be classified as ‘unnecessary.’ Or so I’m told.  I’m not convinced.

Latte’s and Make up. Inconsequential and superfluous. Who. Knew.

I have been trying to practice a little more restraint when it comes to my spending activities, and to be honest I don’t think I’m doing too badly. I have started to ask myself the question “Do I need this or just want it?” If the answer has been the latter I have placed said item back on the shelf/rack and dispiritedly walked away. Slumped shoulders, frowny face. But what can I say? I’m just a sucker for pretty, unnecessary things.

Like for example: 

Make Up – Girls, you know how it goes. A new mascara here, a handful (or in my case a make up bag full) of lipsticks there, a bit of blush, highlighter, foundation, eyeliner etc. And don’t even get me started on how expensive make up brushes are. Before you know it your cosmetic bags a-brimming but thats not necessarily a bad thing. It just means you have a choice, and choice is good right? 

Nail Polish – One hundred and ten. Yes, for the purpose of this post I counted how many bottles of nail polish I possess and, ok, it might sound a lot when you say it like that but it could be worse. Although it literally frightens me to think how much money all those bottles cost put together. Will that stop me buying nail polish shades suspiciously similar to those I already own? Probably not no.

Topshop/Clothes – I put Topshop first as it is essentially the black hole into which all my money disappears. A very fashionable black hole but a black hole none the less. Yes I have a lot of clothes but we come back to the matter of having a choice. We also come to the matter of me just not being able to say no when I see something I realllllly like. 

Books – If you ask a bookworm if they have too many books the answer will always be no. I could turn my house into a library and fill every room floor to ceiling with books and it would never be enough. But apparently, according to everyone else, I spend too much money buying unnecessary books. Errr HELLO, educational! A) Reading keeps me quiet. B) It widens my vocabulary and C) How can books be ‘unnecessary’ if i’ve never read them before? If I was down to my last few quid I would probably and happily ‘waste’ it on a book.

Costa – Latte’s= caffeine, caffeine= legitimate addiction so get off my back ok? Although you know you spend too much time and money in Costa when the barista’s welcome you like an old friend and start to make your order before you’ve even asked for it. I spend far too much time and money in Costa then.

Eating out with friends – A girls got to eat right? 

Those, apparently, are the ways in which I (un)necessarily waste my money. Perhaps if I possessed more restraint I would have the cash for the ‘important’ things like getting new lenses fitted in my glasses and the money for a new Macbook when this one finally and inevitably gives up the ghost. The list for grown up life things I could never afford goes on and on.

I thought that writing these things down and putting them out into the blogsphere would help me gain a little perspective but I’ve now come to realise that the curbing of my spending habits is going to be a work in progress. Because if new dresses, books and lipsticks aren’t completely essential then I for one don’t know the hell what is.

 Just out of curiosity in what ways do you guys (un)necessarily waste money?

Jemm xoxo

Hey, You’re Awesome Company! You Know That, Right?

I came across this quote by Oscar Wilde and just got it, you know? I mean how do you know how to be yourself if you have no idea how to be by yourself?

I’m not talking about your relationship status or whether you’re a billy-no mates. And I’m not talking about you growing old and dying all by yourself with a little tear in your eye. No. Lets not be dramatic. I’m just talking about you learning to appreciate spending some time with yourself. You know, hanging out with you, me myself and I stylee.

Being. Alone. Those two words that when put together tend to scare the beJAYsus out of people. Some find it a struggle to embrace their ‘me’ time but what are you really afraid of? That once you’re alone you might find that you don’t like yourself?

Look at it like me: There are a lot of people in this world that I don’t like, but I’m sure as hell not one of them.

Besides, now is the perfect time to cultivate the skill of befriending yourself. During the festive period times get a little crazy. You’re off visiting this family member or meeting up with this friend and the chance of any ‘me’ time gets pushed down the totem pole of importance. So when January arrives it is good for the soul to step back from all the social do-gooding and be at peace in our own headspace.

I love spending time alone, in fact it’s one of my favourite things to do. I look forward to shutting the door on everyone and everything else and just hanging out with me. My time is my own; I can do what I want, when I want, without having to justify it to anyone. This has nothing to do with being averse to spending time with other people; I cherish and appreciate the time that I spend with family and friends. It’s just that 9 times out of 10 I prefer my own company.

Does this make me a bad person? No. Just a solitary one.

When I hang solo it is peaceful and quiet. Just how I like it. It gives me a chance to think about the things that need thinking about and a chance to do the things that need doing. And when nothing needs thinking about or doing it gives my thoughts a chance to be free.

I know that some don’t exactly savor the thought of spending any time alone, although I don’t really understand why. I know someone who would rather die than so much as go into a cafe and have a coffee on her own, whereas I’d quite happily while away a couple of hours sat in Costa with a latte of five. But even those alone-o-phobic’s will admit that being by yourself in a coffee shop is bordering acceptable. But what about a restaurant? Would you dare walk in alone and ask for a table for one? What about the cinema? Would you go and watch a movie solo? I certainly will be if I can’t convince Mamma Smith to sit for three hours to watch Les Mis this week. And you know what, I don’t even care. 

But then again what if everyone looks and notices your alone? What if their minds start running away with them and they think you have no friends and you skulk around places by yourself like some weird social loner!

Ok stop.

I hate to drop this bomb, but (move in so I can whisper it to you)- nobody is looking at you, nobody cares. The reason being because they are too busy thinking about themselves. After that initial ‘wow, she’s hanging solo’ people go back to being concerned with themselves. Nobody is judging you. Shock of all horrors you might a get a funny look, but so what? If you are there alone you have more confidence in yourself than any other person in the place. Hold on to that. 

Here’s another quote that is quite appropriate ‘Beware those who seek constant crowds, for they are nothing alone.’- Charles Bukowski.

Spending time alone can be peaceful, it can be fun, it can be insightful, it can be indulgent, it can be productive, and it can be relaxing. It can be whatever you want it to be because it’s your time. If I say so myself, I think I’m pretty great company so why shouldn’t I enjoy hanging out with me? At the end of day, you’re the best friend you’ll ever have. Once you’re comfortable being alone with yourself everything else in life starts to feel a bit more comfortable too, because you’re not on your own, you’ve got you on your side. Practice makes perfect, so for those of you who are a little apprehensive where alone time is concerned, give it try, odds are that you’ll discover you’re pretty awesome company too.

Jemm xoxo