Listen up ladies: Be a class act

Okay. I’m going to kick something off here. I’m throwing this topic out there to be discussed, to find out what you think by telling you what I think. Some of you might agree with me and some of you may think I’m crazy talking. Whatever, this post is just my opinion. And let’s not argue because I’m usually right.

Increasingly this issue has been on my mind and on my nerves so naturally it’s now on my blog.

Today’s topic ‘ladies’ and gentlemen is all about the lost art of elegance and sophistication. Hopefully in reading this post the ladies that have lost it will rediscover the importance of acting in ways befitting of their sex.

Back in the day, in the good old fashioned times, there were such things as manners. Women knew how to behave with a degree of class. Why have such traits been allowed to become a thing of the past?

I’m not going to tar all fellow females with the same un-ladylike brush, but a vast majority of chicks today wouldn’t know the meaning of the words ‘class’ or ‘ladylike’ if Audrey Hepburn hit them in the face with an Oxford hardback.

I completely agree that women and their behaviour have had to move with the times. The old notion that women should be seen and not heard is totally irrelevant in todays society and absolutely belongs in the past. I admire and applaud women who know their mind, voice their opinions and assert their position as equal to men, because lets face it, anything they can do we can do (better) right?

But PLEASE for the love of Holly Golightly can we keep it classy while we’re at it?

So lets get this straight: Am I anti-feminist? No. Am I glad that the Suffragettes helped secure the vote for women? Yes! Do I believe in equal rights? Sure. Do I think that modern women should be a model of a 50′ Stepford wife? Hell no! But please forgive me for committing the cardinal sin of modern times: believing that ladies SHOULD be ladylike.

And just so we know where things stand thanks to the Oxford English Dictionary (which I borrowed off Audrey Hepburn):

Class .n- Possessing elegance, grace, or dignity, as in dress and behaviour.

Classy .adj- Stylish and sophisticated.

Ladylike .adj- Appropriate for or typical of a well mannered woman or girl.

Nowhere in those definitions does it say that you have to stay in the kitchen looking after the kiddies as those ideas are seriously outdated, but the words elegance, grace, dignity & sophistication are largely absent from the vast majority of modern women’s vocabulary. I think this is a shame. Because to be frank chickas, we were born to be fabulous.

I’m going to kick off with the first crime against class: Smoking. I cant express how unladylike this is. Back in the day it might have been seen as the height of glamour but that was before they knew it could give you cancer, heart disease, hacking cough, yellow fingers & wrinkles. Attractive? Not really.

Picture the scene: Your in an A-mazing outfit, your hairs done, your make-up is expertly applied, you look beautiful and other people think so too. Untill they see the fag hanging from your fingers that is. No one wants to talk to you while your dragging on a ciggy and puffing smoke into their faces. All you fag-ash-lils might not want to hear it, but I’m gonna say it anyway. It puts people off. I know so many beautiful ladies that spoil it all by smoking. If you have the will power to resist a chocolate bar too many then surely you have the power to quit this dirty habit.

Next up, drinking. I have previously discussed the fact that I don’t drink on this blog. I have nothing against drinkers and see nothing wrong with going out drinking with friends. However I do have a problem with the effects excessive drinking causes. More and more nowadays you are hearing about the rise of the binge drinking culture, and it’s not the fellas that are causing the who-ha its the supposed ‘ladies.’ The girls night started out in high glamour and high spirits but by the end of it your slurring your words, stumbling around in your too high heels, bitch fighting with the chick that gave you a dirty look and vomiting into your hair in the taxi queue. Would you class that as classy? Alls I’m saying is, for the sake of sophistication know your limits.

Really?

Fashion faux Pas. I love my fashion. I like to be on trend but I also know that my dignity would not compromise itself to be trendy. Some of these tiny ‘I’ll put all your bits on display’ outfits cost a fortune, you might as well go naked and save yourself some cash. It would have the same effect. What happened to leaving something to the imagination? Who would you rather look like, Grace Kelly or Jordan? Point made. And while we’re on the subject to all the young ladies with inch thick make-up and radioactive fake tan, invest in a face wipe. Because under all that stuff I bet your actually quite pretty.

Grace Kelly: The epitome of elegance

Or Katie Price: epitome of tacky

Make a note: being able to curse like a sailor is not an endearing trait. Everyone is guilty of putting the odd swear word to use when ranting to friends but please be aware of the company your in and keep your potty mouth in check. The F word is not an essential part of sentence structure.

And then I come to mourn the loss of little common courtesies. Simple things like the use of please and thank you seem to have gone amiss. Manners and politeness appear to be dead and buried these days but I believe it’s time for a revival. This means un-ladylike acts such as breaking wind and burping in company and/or public are banned. Yes I know that these are natural bodily functions, and yes I know that even the Queen must do them. But have you ever heard the Queen let one off in the middle of her Christmas Speech? Please keep such things private. Feel free to borrow Audrey’s Oxford Dictionary and look up the word over-share.

I could go on as the list appears to be endless but the aforementioned crimes against class are the ones that offend my sensibilities the most.

So how about it? Lets take inspiration from other sophisticated sisters gone before us, like the ever elegant Audrey and perpetually graceful Grace, and make the world a classier place.

Jemm xoxo