Writing this letter feels strange. As I type these words onto the screen you are my future but as you read back the words I have written I will be your past.
Perhaps writing this letter is of little purpose, perhaps by now you have ended up exactly where you were supposed to be and maybe that is somewhere I would never have expected and therefore you may never receive it. Despite this fact I will carry on regardless hoping it will eventually, someday, find it’s way to you.
I pray that when you read this letter it finds you are healthy and happy and that it draws a smile to your face as it reminds you of the person you used to be.
It probably seems like a lifetime ago (and it was!) but I hope you still remember how you gossiped on Facebook, shopped till you dropped in Topshop, listened to your iPod full blast (how are the ears by the way?) loved writing your blog and reading anything with words on it and always found room for something sweet even if it meant eating less dinner! Do you remember how you would read Company Magazine from cover to cover dreaming that one day those words would be yours? Most of all I hope you remember the fun you had with the friends you made.
I would like to believe that from time to time you still take a moment to listen to the music you love, (full blast!) read some magazines (find the time!) and laugh with those same friends. I also hope you still eat things that are sweet and bad for you although I hope the sweet tooth hasn’t made you quite as fat as I feared it might.
I often wonder if , by the time you read this Topshop will have designed a line suitable for the more mature lady as I would like to think I can still hold my own in the fashion stakes. Facebook better still be going strong in the future too. What would life be without the opportunity of a Facebook snoop?
Do you still recall how ambitious you used to be? How did the dream of becoming a jazz handed magazine journalist extraordinaire work out for you? And the dream of living the London life- is that where you are now? I hope that as you read this you are sat in your big London townhouse in a room large enough to accommodate your (already extensive) collection of books.
I sincerely hope that our life has been filled with achievement and success, of dreams realised and of hope and happiness but more importantly with family and friends.
At 21 I sometimes still feel unsure and insecure, but then again I don’t need to tell you that because you used to be me, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that confidence is something that comes with age.
By now, even at this young age, I have learnt a fair few life lessons, some of them easy some of them not so much, but all of them useful. I trust that over the years you have continued to learn and that our personality trait of always picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off and just getting on with things has stood us in good stead. I also keep my fingers crossed that our tendency to worry about absolutely EVERYTHING has diminished over the years because to be honest it’s kind of exhausting don’t you think?
I am also anxious to know whether you regret the tattoo(s)? (Who knows how many more you might have had!) Although I don’t think you will. I hope when you look upon it, it reminds you of a time when you were young and impressed by the fact that it was everlasting.
Speaking of age I hope you still look young for yours without the help of a surgeon. Can you recall how annoying it was when at 21 you were constantly mistook for a teenager? Frustrating back then but I often thought I would be thankful for the youthful face someday!
Ooooh and what was our wedding like? Was it in a castle? Was the dress expensive and sparkly? Are the rocks on the rings so big and heavy that they make you tilt to the left side? He better be good looking.
At this moment in time I think you have the advantage. You are older so you have experienced everything I wish to, or at least I hope you have. You hold the answers to so many important questions, or at least I hope you do. And I bet you are sat there now quietly chuckling and whispering to yourself “Don’t worry it all worked out the way you wanted it to” or at least I hope you are. But in reading this letter I suppose you think I am the one with the advantage of youth and of a life yet to be lived, I hope I did ok!
I am now at a point where I am looking forward whereas you will be looking back. I hope life treated you kind and that we escaped the biggest regret of all, that of looking back and wishing we could reset the player and start over (there you go again quietly chuckling and telling me not to worry.) And on that note I think we will be ok.
Its funny, I have so many questions to ask you but there just isn’t enough time and I suppose you have many pearls of wisdom you wish you could impart upon your 21-year-old self. But it is now beginning to dawn on me that asking for the answers to these questions would be like cheating at life. It isn’t about whether you have these pearls of wisdom but about how you acquired them. Life is about the journey, and Jemm I really hope you enjoyed ours.
All my love,
Jemm (age 21) xox
P.s Give writing a letter to your future self a go, then in years to come go back and read it. It will give you warm fuzzy feeling inside. Lets see how far off the mark I am with mine!