If you follow me on Twitter you can’t have escaped the fact that over the weekend I was tweeting like a bird on steroids, the reason being I was in London my favourite place in the world. And what better place to be if you harbor a bit of a princess obsession like me?
Looking back to my childhood I think it was the Disney films that kicked it all off, particularly Cinderella. I mean if a scruffy servant girl can meet and marry a prince then surely there is hope for us all. It was here thanks to Disney that I fell in love with princess fashions. The fairy godmother and the sparkly gowns, I wanted it all (perhaps not the singing mice as they’d probably get a bit annoying.)
Then The Slipper And The Rose arrived in my life. If you’ve never seen it it’s one of those films that is so utterly crap its actually really good. Like Spiceworld. Slipper And The Rose is an old fashioned musical version of the fairytale classic and it was thanks to this innovative fairy godmother that I fell in love with shoes. You see in Slipper And The Rose Cinderella’s party shoes are not made of glass (so very impractical) but of pure, grade A glitter. Sigh. As a youngster I would repeatedly rewind the unveiling of the shoes and loose myself in the cascade of sparkle over and over again.
Fast forward some years and Downton Abbey opened its doors and I knew, just knew, that I had to live there. Now I know that the inhabitants of Downton are not strictly royalty but hell beggars cant be choosers, I’d settle for being Lady of the manor too. Here my princess obsession was further fueled by the knowledge of manor houses, country castles and palaces. I don’t care where I end up, as long as I end up in one of them. Who wouldn’t want to flounce around their very own castle? Who wouldn’t want to skip around the rose gardens of their country estate? And who may I ask, who, wouldn’t want to reign supreme over their own palace? I rest my scepter.
So we’ve established where my princess obsessions for gowns, shoes and grand palaces come from and as if my fairytale fantasies needed anymore fuel adding to the fire along came the royal wedding. Ffs. This day almost a year ago just about tipped me over the edge. Now it wasn’t just the clothes, the footwear and the living accommodations that I longed for; I wanted to be Kate Middleton. Move over Cinders, K-Middy is on the scene.
It is at this point in the story that my weekend jaunt around London becomes relevant. While there Mamma Smith and I went to pay the crown jewels a visit. Oh. My. God. Shut in a room with all that sparkle and opulence I was in my element. Solid gold crowns studded with diamonds and rubies, emeralds and sapphires. I took particular interest in one that looked just about my head size….
Then it was on to Kensington Palace, which has of course been renovated and rejuvenated to coincide with the Queen’s diamond jubilee. I got to set foot inside an actual palace! Giddy didn’t even touch the sides. While walking around the Queen Victoria exhibition and the King and Queens state rooms I was subconsciously measuring up the curtains and making mental notes on the wallpaper and furniture ready for when I move in.
I absolutely despair that I wasn’t born into such a situation as I hear that that’s the easiest way to go about it. But hey if Cinderella and K-Middy can manage it I’m pretty sure that I’ll have it all one day too. The dresses, the shoes, the estates, the jewels, the Middleton mane and Prince Harry. Mmmhhmm. For sure.
Failing all that can someone please just buy me a square foot of land somewhere so I can legally title myself ‘Lady’?